Me and My endless tiredness

By. Nurish Hardefty

In 2017 I stood strong,

Living the day like a robot without a soul,

Tirelessly until my body rebelled,

My glands were swollen, until surgery came as an option and an answer.

Year after year I lived,

Accompanied by endless storms,

My body was weak, my soul was stuck,

Withstanding the burden of the world that continued to nail me.

2018 and 2019, the scalpel became a friend,

Among tumors and wounds,

I faced it alone,

Holding tears in the silence.

When 2020 greeted me in lonely isolation,

Covid came to take away togetherness,

My mother and I slumped in a weak body with a cough and a runny nose,

Until my Hungarian lover gone and never back.

I drowned in a sea of sorrow,

Every inch of my body bled,

But the storm never stopped,

2021 came with another wound,

Breast and intestinal tumors attacked me without mercy,

Two months of consecutive surgery became an option,

Pain repeatedly after the Moderna vaccine entered, silencing my immune system,

All happiness was taken from me,

While my body was fighting the pain,

My heart and mind were also fighting the wound,

My Norwegian lover who was also my best friend broke up with me at that time.

The storm continued in 2022,

My mother fell and broke her hand,

Until a stroke came,

I was tired, my body was fragile,

But I still held on, taking care of her in the silence.

For years I have endured the storm,

But now at the end of 2024 my soul is starting to fade,

I want to give up,

Let the world go on without me for a while,

I just want to rest, in peace without the tormenting depression.

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NURISH HARDEFTY

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